SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSAN! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? YOU TOLD ME YOU'D MEET ME AN HOUR AGO!

Bugger. And now I'm just bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored. And still no candy. Bugger.

Everything's SO boring. I mean, I don't even think the teachers are trying this year. I mean, do they think we're complete idiots? Today in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor Tolboon taught us how to defend ourselves against a boggart. HONESTLY. I may not have liked that half-breed we had for a teacher in third year, but at least he taught us things challenging for our ages! Isn't this a "special" camp for "gifted" people. And I don't mean that kind of special camp. That's what St. Mungo's is for. I for one am much more superior than the average student. And they teach us rubbish we already know and don't use! I mean, honestly, why do we need to know Riddikulus, seeing as I have servants to get rid of boggarts for me!

I miss last summer. Even with that evil shrubbery that attacked me. At least it was interesting. I wouldn't be complaining if I could actually SHAG SOMEONE. Speaking of which, SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSAN! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

Ugh. I miss the good ol' days of Slytherin orgies in the common room.

I woke up this morning and the first thing I think is "I want candy". Not that that is so unusual, but, honestly, first thing in the morning? And it's just gotten worse all day. Transfiguration, candy. Potions, candy. Charms, candy. Defense, candy. Herbology, candy. Runes, candy. I am just about ready to Avada Kedavra someone for some GODDAMNEDCANDY!

I have scoured this whole damned camp and MERLIN HELP ME there's no candy. And that sugar free pathetic excuse for toffee that I stole from Granger is NOT CANDY.


CANDY.


In other, slightly calmer news, I've developed a twitch. Methinks sugar will help. And I just said "methinks". I need some candy.

I found this Muggle book called "Through The Looking Glass". It's kind of crazed, talking about this little girl falling through a mirror to this alternate world. And as I was going through it, I found a poem I thought you'd like, Luna.

I guess we're back then, eh? It's been a long time.

I think I'm getting paranoid. It feels like people are watching me at all times. I'll be walking through the halls and just feel...eyes on me. It's...so weird.

That and am I the only one hearing an obscene amount of gossip about all of us? And some of them are completely ridiculous! Like that Theo had sex with a plant. I'm not even kidding. I really don't want to relate the details of it, but it was...rather graphic. That and some other random ones about there being some sort of orgy including me, Luna, Blaise, Theo, Snape, and food (which I think was the food fight, just misconstrued) and some odd rumor about me and Thomas having a secret love affair. It's all ridiculous! I almost got into a fight with a fifth year Hufflepuff about one of them. Although she soon found that bald was not her style.


Am I the only one?

It's about bloody time everyone started posting! Talk about boring! I got so used to reading everyone's journals and then, POOF, no one writes in theirs. I don't really have much to say now. My dad's still on trial. Hung jury, they said. I didn't even think they had juries. I thought it was just judges! Merlin only knows with the Ministry.

Well...not much going on really. My father and Daphne's father's trial is tomorrow. I'm nervous. I'm not going to lie. I'm...scared out of my fucking mind! I mean, what if they put him in Azkaban permanently for Merlin's sakes! He'll die there! Or worse... not scared, really, just anxious. He's not going to be convicted. Just because that great oaf Scrimgeour is going to be there and might possibly testify doesn't mean anything. No...not at all.

Thank Merlin for Dumbledore, though. Without him we would be sunk. He's actually giving me the day off today and tomorrow for the trial and Daphne as well. And he's even put me in an empty teacher's room so that I can be alone. It's starting to make me think he knows Occlumency, seeing as I was thinking that I wished I didn't have homework and could be alone for once.

Anyway, is anyone alive out there? I haven't really heard much from anyone for quite some time. I hope no one's given up on writing in these journals. It's...kinda nice knowing that you're all there. If that even makes any sense. So how's everyone doing? Alive, dead, halfway between? Swamped with schoolwork or bored? C'mon, tell me! I want to hear from everyone about what they've been up to! And I mean everyone.


((OOC: By the way, WISH ME HAPPEH BIRTHDAY! -it was the 24th))

((OOC 2: Ignore Pansy's EXTREMELY slightly OOC moment.))

I feel so twitchy. It's like I just can't stop going. Does that make any sense? I've been running around all day doing absolutely nothing.

I do have to admit, I am a little nervous, though. The Ministry suspects my father of being a Death Eater (which he ISN'T) and he's in Azkaban right now. I got a letter today from Mum telling me about it. The trial will be in a few days and my father's holding up and everything, but the whole thought of him being in Azkaban terrifies me. I'm sure it's much better without the Dementors around, but Azkaban itself is awful. Since they reopened, they've gotten new guards that are just as close to the Dementors as you can get. We don't know much more about them since, apparently, my father isn't supposed to give details and the information was scurgified from the page by the guards themselves.

It frightens me, though. The Ministry has been so paranoid since the infamous battle took place in their building. They just arrest anyone slightly suspicious and practically make it where they're convincted, regardless of the truth. I mean, look at what they did to that one driver of the Knight Bus. I highly doubt he had anything to do with the Death Eaters. He didn't have that crazed look in his eye that the majority of them have. I'm just...worried...

On a...slightly higher note, I seem to be doing better in school. I think Longbottom's right, that camp really made school this year a breeze. I wonder if that was Dumbledore's plan...

I think I'll do that 10 Secrets thing Finnigan was on about.

So...school? Yeah...school...

I don't...even know why I kept this journal. Dumbledore said we didn't have to use them anymore after the camp ended. I doubt anyone else will write in them anymore. I don't even know why I'm writing in it.


Everyone seems back to normal. Except for us. I've noticed some of the ones who went to the camp. They don't...look right at Hogwarts anymore. So much has changed, so many boundaries broken. I even saw some Slytherins at the Hufflepuff table. Kind of scary. But nice.

I haven't really talked to anyone yet. 3 days in and I don't think I've said one word to anyone. I mean, all the girls gather around me, and I just don't say a word. I don't feel like I have anything to say.

And I haven't seen...any of my new friends from camp. I wonder if they changed. I wonder if they even like me anymore. I mean, at the camp, we're all separated from everything else, so naturally friendships...and more form. So maybe sh...they've come to their senses. I mean I've never been a great girlfr...friend and maybe they've realized that. I mean sh...THEY are back with their old friends. Maybe I need to go back to my friends, too.


But everything's...changed

I am so amused...

I was sentenced to detention (for no reason, mind you) by a very frustrated looking Feikema (I suppose he's realizing that the camp's nearing an end and he hasn't gotten any) and had to clean out the washrooms. Lovely, right? Having to get on my knees and scrub the toilets by hand. With Feikema watching, practically jerking off right there, breathing erratically.


When I went to clean one of the toilet bowl lids, I found a magazine slipped against the wall. I picked it up when I saw the naked woman on it and slipped it into my pocket. After Feikema finally said I could go, I took a shower (as he listened) and went back to my tent to check out the magazine. It's called "Slutty Sorceresses" and, despite the corny title, it's really hot. There were a few pictures of naked women posing, but the majority of it was just sex. They had all different couples, male and female, female and female, female/female/female, male/female/male, and, my favorite, female/female/male. Not to mention the "male orgy" they had in the "Whorey Wizards" 'sex-tion' (Get it? 'Section'? Ha ha ha ha ha...ha. They're so fucking corny.). It's so hot. I'd say it's hotness competes with that Longbottom Kama Sutra book that Daphne bought. Not quite as funny, but just as many positions. Quite arousing.


So, despite being sent to detention, I'm in a very, very good mood. If I could only get laid...



On this...er...lovely note, I've a question - What is your deepest, darkest fantasy? If you have to leave out details, go ahead, but be vivid. I'm horny.

-sigh- Such a pathetic response. I get a lot of pity and a lot of refusals, but not even one halfway interested person. It's such a shame. I mean, there are at least 1, 2, 3...16 people I'd shag in a second (and that's not including the hot lesbian teachers!). And it's not like I'm ugly. I mean, I'm not the prettiest, the brightest, or the most attractive, but I'm definitely not anything opposite that. Maybe I'm just destined to be miserable and all by myself. Seems about right...

I'm going to pull a Theo here...


DOES ANYONE WANT TO SHAG?

Yeah...um...lunch was...interesting. I...yeah...I suppose I don't have much to say...

Is it...weird to really want to be alone...but at the same time...wanting company?

I'm just...so shaky, right now. I can't even think straight...I just...want to cry and scream and laugh and beat the shit out of someone all at once. Is that rational? Of course it's not rational. What the hell am I thinking? I've never been rational or sane at all... Why did I start now? Why?

I'm just...so confused...

I figured this might be of interest. I was pretty bored today, so I went fishing. Nothing unusual, right?

Well, a few minutes later, I had a bite. Still nothing unusual, right?

It took me about ten minutes or so to reel that fucking fish in. I was all sweating and tired and hungry, but proud of myself and then I looked on the hook and there wasn't a fish on it. But a stuffed lion.

I cleaned him up a bit. He's a little waterlogged, but nothing some more advanced spells couldn't undo. His color's slightly faded, but he's in pretty good shape for having been in that water for however long he was in there. He has a little color that looks like it says "Roary", but I'm not sure.

Thought you might like to know, Potter.

What the hell crawled up Macmillan's arse and died? After Potions, he cornered me and started blathering on about Susan and how I'm a "bad influence" and that I need to "stay away from her". The ponce even had the nerve to threaten me! I would be so pissed off right now if I hadn't set his crotch on fire. Now I'm just rather amused. Serves him right. No one corners and threatens a Slytherin if they don't want their speaking voice to be confused with a 5 year old girl's. Even though the smell of burning hair was rather unpleasant...

Speaking of Potions, that pop quiz was so easy. It's a good thing that I reviewed the potions we did in the class for the past two weeks. I didn't miss a single question, which is rare for me in Potions. Yay! So I'm celebrating with some firewhiskey. I hope I don't get myself drunk...

I couldn't find Susan at lunch. I went and sat by the tree next to DADA, but she wasn't there. I waited all lunch for her. I haven't seen her all day. As a matter of fact, I haven't really seen her in a few days. I'm slightly worried. Is she avoiding me? What did I do? I hope she's not mad at me. I...I miss her.

I found a spell (courtesy of flirting with Feikema) that made it where I can teach Ella to speak certain words. I taught her "Momma", so that every time I walk in the tent she starts chirping "Momma! Momma!". It's so adorable! I can't wait to teach her more!

I've been thinking a lot today. How the hell does magic work? I mean, I don't know enough about Muggle science to understand it. I've always sort of taken it for granted - wand, spell, poof, you know? But how does that work? What really makes that spell and why are only certain people witches or wizards?

Another thing, I'm getting bleeding tired of the Slytherin stereotypes. We are not evil. We're devious and ruthless, but that's completely different. Sure, a lot of dark wizards have come out of Slytherin (including He-Who-Mustn't-Be-Named), but they've come out of other houses, too. Take Gryffindor for example. Didn't that Pettigrew fellow come out of there? And isn't he considered evil? And what is 'evil' anyway? I've always heard it used, but never an exact definition. Same thing with 'good'. It depends on a person's beliefs. Surely the followers of You-Know-Who don't consider themselves 'evil'. So do they consider Dumbledore evil? Do they consider Potter evil?

And back to the stereotypes, do I even have the right to complain? Honestly, I use stereotypes just as often as others do, if not more. I usually believe that Gryffindors are stupidly valiant, Ravenclaws are smart <strike>asses</strike>, and Hufflepuffs are annoying (with some exceptions). So who am I to talk? Although, who am I not to talk?

I'M DRIVING MYSELF INSANE WITH ALL THESE DAMNED PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTIONS! THEY'RE DRIVING ME OUT OF MY HEAD!

Besides that, Ella's tail feathers are starting to develop. And she cries when I leave her. I skipped Arithmancy today to stay with her. And cuddle with her. She's so adorable. Chirps so much. I'm going to hate to see her go.

It's amazing how time gets away from you. I checked back today on how long it's been since I posted in my journal and it's been a week since I've posted. A week!

Mostly nothing's been happening. I had detention all week with Snape (for accidentally spilling acid on his cape the other day), which wasn't all that bad. Snape's always liked me, so when he made me clean the cafeteria, he let me use magic. Although seeing two of those lunch ladies kissing was enough to make me want to claw my own eyes out. Although, I will say that the lunch ladies getting some certainly makes them produce edible food. I suppose it's not all bad, anyway.

That and that awful astronomy homework. I'm not an artist at all and for them to expect me to do a painfully detailed 'artful depiction' of Draco (the constellation, mind you -glares-) is so not right. I've never hated stars more. That and I highly doubt this blue paint is ever going to come off of my hands.

But I will say the week's been much better than the last few. And I've one person to thank for it...-grin-

Ella's much better. She's much more active and not in shock anymore. She even purrs when I stroke her throat and then falls asleep. She's so adorable.


What's been going on? Sadly, I've been pretty low on gossip. All I've seen is Corner decide to join the human race, something with Daphne, Thomas, and Blaise, Theo and Finnigan keep on trying to find each other and not doing a good job of it, and a secret I have that I'm so not telling anyone.

By the way, anyone have any sleeping draught? I've been having odd dreams that keep on waking me up in the middle of the night...

Well...there wasn't much to do today. Being as...well...being in the condition I am, I decided getting outside would be good for me. Because Merlin knows my hand wasn't doing anything for me and I was going to permanently cramp my fingers after a while. So I just went strolling around and I came across this old shed out behind the Quidditch Field. I happened to break the lock off of the door manually because spells wouldn't work and pillage through it find the door open and I found some fishing poles.

Now, keep in mind that I was really bored, but fishing was actually a lot of fun. At first it was pretty hard casting because I nearly got a hook in my eye, but after a while I could actually do it pretty well. I even almost caught a fish. Or a squid. Either way, I almost caught something! It was pretty...exhilarating.

And that's not all. As I was heading back to the shed to return the fishing pole before anyone found out, I heard this angry cheeping from a tree. I went over to see what all the noise was about and it turns out Granger's cat had gotten ahold of a little bird. I don't know what it was, but I just looked into that little baby bird's eyes and just...had to save it. I chased the cat down before I could stun it and get the bird away from it. I rushed it over to Dr. Makatwa and the little thing's all right. Apparently the cat hadn't hurt it, but I couldn't find any of the baby's parents or siblings. So, I'm keeping it.

Oh, and I named it - Ella.

UGH!

Today couldn't have been any longer. It felt like every second drug on and on for hours! In Charms, I glanced at the clock, expecting it to be nearly time to go and it wasn't even 20 minutes into class! I was convinced Feikema turned the clock back to keep me in class longer, which isn't that far fetched seeing as he made another pass at me. He's getting more and more frank. When the rest of the class was doing their work and I happened to look up, he made a very lewd gesture at me. I bit through my lip doing my best not to blast his ass into oblivion.

If that's not bad enough, I made a fool of myself in DADA, accidentally using the wrong curse in our mock duels. Damned thing reflected back at me which resulted in a very painful visit to the nurse, who couldn't find the right spell to remove all the splinters and did it by hand. Slowly.

I mixed up fertilizers in Herbology and instead of feeding the plant, I poisoned it by mistake, killing the damn thing. If that wasn't bad enough, Beaudrealt couldn't figure out which poison I'd used and therefore couldn't find the appropriate antidote. I don't know what I mixed up, but apparently it was a slow dying process. And it screeched the whole time.

I flunked a test in Transfigurations (my best damned subject!), spilled a very deadly acid on Snape's cape (for which I have detention sometime this/next week) and Arithmancy didn't go very well either.


And you want to know why all this has happened? Hmm? Because I'm sexually frustrated! My GOD! I can't even THINK anymore! It's driving me to distraction! It has gotten so bad that I've taken to stealing Patil's sappy and very badly written romance novels! I just want to bang. my. head. on. the. damned. DESK! GAH! And I don't even know why I'm writing this. It's gotten so bad that I don't even give a damn who reads it, when I really should make this private.

I'm going insane. That's all there is to it.